Many parents have encountered the "high-maintenance" baby – the one who needs to be held, rocked or 
sung to in order to fall asleep. Even after all that effort, these babies may still wake up as soon as they
are put in their cot. Or perhaps your little one struggles to settle after feeding, requiring constant attention to feel at ease.
Does this sound familiar?
The challenge many parents face with these babies is that they often struggle with a crucial self-
soothing. Self-soothing is the ability to comfort oneself when feeling distressed or upset.
For babies, this skill is vital for their emotional and physical development and is something that
can be cultivated over time with patience and guidance.

What is Self-Soothing?

From a physiological perspective, self-soothing involves the parasympathetic nervous system, which controls
the body’s "rest and digest" functions. This system helps the body calm down after stress,
balancing out the "fight or flight" response controlled by the sympathetic nervous system. Babies who struggle with
self-soothing often have an overactive sympathetic response, making it difficult for them to calm down on their own.
Psychologically, self-soothing also relates to the ability to reframe stressful situations and return to a state of calm.
For adults, this might mean using mindfulness or cognitive techniques to deal with
stress, but babies rely on their caregivers to guide them in learning this skill.

Why Some Babies Struggle to Self-Soothe?

Self-soothing is something that babies gradually learn, but it can be more challenging for those
whose parents are stressed or anxious. The baby's environment plays a key role in their ability to
manage stress. If the pregnancy was stressful or if the parents are consistently anxious,
the baby may internalize these feelings, making it harder for them to develop self-soothing skills.

Interestingly, some babies begin mastering self-soothing as early as seven weeks old and deeply through the
night by that point. However, other children may struggle with this skill for much longer, and without intervention, it can
lead to more serious cognitive, behavioral, and health challenges as they grow.

Helping Your Baby Learn to Self-Soothe

The good news is that with time, support, and guidance, babies can learn how to self-soothe.

Here are some key steps to help your baby develop this important skill:

1. Start Early: The earlier you begin to help your baby learn self-soothing, the better. Even newborns can begin to
   understand that they can comfort themselves with the right techniques.
    
2. Check for Physical Issues: Before diving into sleep training, it’s important to rule out any physical issues that might
   be interfering with your baby’s ability to self-soothe. As chiropractor, I’ve found that many babies struggling with sleep
   has spinal tension, stress, or a poorly functioning diaphragm. A gentle chiropractic adjustment can
   help release this tension, allowing the baby to breathe easier and activate the parasympathetic nervous system.
   Your pediatrician can also check for any underlying medical conditions that might be contributing baby’s distress.
    
3. Create a Calming Environment: Babies thrive in environments that promote relaxation.
   This includes establishing a consistent bedtime routine, using calming sounds or white noise, and ensuring the room is
   comfortable and quiet.
    
4. Give Your Baby Time to Self-Sooth: It’s important to allow your baby time to find their own
   way to calm down. While it can be tough for parents, giving your baby space to self-soothe teaches them that they can
   comfort themselves without constant intervention.
    
5. Parenting with Patience: Sleep training and self-soothing are part of a broader parenting approach. It’s about
   guiding your baby with patience, reassurance, and love, allowing them the time and space to develop their
   self-soothing skills.
    

The Role of Parents in Self-Soothing

Remember, there’s no one-size-fits-all rule for helping your baby learn to self-soothe. Every baby is
different, and what works for one may not work for another. The key is to explore the options that work
best for your parenting style and your baby’s temperament. The goal is not perfection but rather
finding a peaceful, balanced approach that works for both you and your baby.

As the saying goes, "Be still and know that I am God"& (Psalm 46:10). This timeless wisdom reminds us that
in moments of stillness, both parents and babies can find comfort and peace.